Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
