I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
