he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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