Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize