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I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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