I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
