During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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