just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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