singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
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There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
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There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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