I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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