1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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