I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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