this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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