is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
