I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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