you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize