I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
