We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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