so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
