Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Come share oat with me in your robe
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
