He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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