We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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