i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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