She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
