Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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