Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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