at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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