i wish there were pregnant emoticons
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
