I CAN MOONWALK!
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
wow bdsm is so cute
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