My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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