I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
