Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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