its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
