you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
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Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
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He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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