Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
