What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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