Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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