so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
ugly people sure do ruin things
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
