what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
