i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
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