He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
