This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
What a dumb baby whore.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
