everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
