And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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