official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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