I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
