I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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