Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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