Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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