Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
