Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
