Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
