I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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