I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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