How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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