Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
