I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
