Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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