My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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