yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
