I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
