glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
