She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
