How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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