I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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