South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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