I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
