To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
We need to get me chipped asap
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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