Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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