I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
