so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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