I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
